Life is Meaningless Without You
by Brokenmemories22
Summary: Life is meaningless without anyone to share it with. Because, he means everything to me. But I know he would chose Cinderheart for his life. Another Icecloud x Lionblaze fanfiction.


**Description:** Life is meaningless without anyone to share it with.

Because, he means everything to me. But I know he would chose Cinderheart for his life.

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><p>Some say love is a gift, and some say love is a blessing. I say it's a sin unless you know exactly how it works.<p>

I have loved Lionblaze since I was a kit. I looked up to my own mother and told her that I loved him. She told me it was just a crush, I would get over it.

That, if he was smart, he would fall for me as well, if it honestly meant something. She told me that, and licked my ear compassionately. I hoped that she was correct.

I loved everything about that tomcat. Even knowing that he was a half-clan, his father Crowfeather and mother Leafpool, made me love him even more. Because the difference was, I didn't care.

I tried to drop hints. Every time I went on a hunting trip with him, he was always distant.. I didn't know why, and I had asked a couple of times. He had told me it was nothing, looking at me with those soft golden eyes, and I believed him.

When we became warriors, I went out when it was dark outside and the moon was at its highest. We chased each other around, and we laughed. I thought he was finally falling for me. Maybe he was, I couldn't tell. But the next morning, it was like it had meant nothing, so I went on with my day of training that apprentice, Ivypaw.

She was getting better and better every time I trained her, and now even I was distant, thinking of Lionblaze and everyone else in the clan. Ivypaw only got better, and before I could worry about it, I realized that he was with Cinderheart most of the time now, barely having any time for me..

I ignored it. The lump in my throat got bigger. My own brother spoke of Cinderheart, and how much he loved her, and how she didn't deserve Lionblaze. He just did that for me; to try and cheer me up. He had heard from Ferncloud that I loved him, and he knew I still did. Foxleap hated that tom for that reason. I sighed.

Then, I realized that Cinderheart and Lionblaze were officially mates now. She was going to have kits. Not just kits, but his kits. The warrior who should have been mine.

I gritted my teeth and bared the pain that ran through me. I congratulated my den-mate, and smiled at her. She didn't know I had loved him, and frankly she didn't care. It didn't matter to her. She had him now.

I could tell from the deep look in that handsome tom's eyes that he loved her too. More than he would ever love me. More than he could love anyone else, maybe. Jayfeather was glad his brother had found a mate.

But I wasn't glad. Maybe I should have been, because of him. I should have been glad for the one cat who made my life worth while.

I tried to smile when that she-cat kitted. But I couldn't bear to see her kittens. I had a conversation with Foxleap, and I remember every word:

".. You know that Cinderheart had her kits, right?"

".. I know, Foxleap."

"You still love him, don't you?"

"Yes, I would never stop loving him, no matter what.."

"Are you going to go see them?"

Silence. For just a moment.

"No. I don't want to see the two kits that are the product of him, unless they're my own." I whispered, looking to the ground, my teeth gritted.

"I'm sorry, sis.."

"It's alright."

That was the only negative word I shared abut Lionblaze. I still loved him, and Ferncloud could see that; my broken heart was something that only he could mend, only he was too stupid to realize that I had always loved him.

I realized as we both matured that he would never know that I loved him, unless someone told him. He didn't notice me constantly going to the medicine cat den to get poppy seeds to ease my pain: It never worked. But I tried, for him, I tried to keep my life going for just a moment.

-And now I'm dying, if I'm yet to mention that.

Coughs rasped through me as I lay in the medicine cat den, ill with not only depression but green-cough. There was plenty of prey, but it didn't help.

I had grown tired of that taste of poppy seed; I had been sick for five or more days, I hadn't counted how many, and even much before that I was taking maybe a poppy seed a day. It didn't help.

Ferncloud sat beside me, her eyes soft and steady. Foxleap had gone to do something: I didn't know what, but he looked mad when he left. He hadn't came back for a moment, and when my mother had to leave, another figure entered the den.

The figure I was dying for. The figure that I loved. Lionblaze, his eyes dull from tiredness as he approached me.

"L-Lionblaze.."

"Icecloud. Don't strain your voice too much.." I didn't speak then, utter silence.

"So you are really dying, for me? Was Foxleap right?" He said. His voice sounded truly hurt as I nodded.

"I love you, Lionblaze.. I have for such a long time.. Then you got with her, a-and.. But I thought you loved me.. Back then.." My voice hurt to strain, having a coughing fit and not being able to speak for a moment, and when I tried to continue, Lionblaze stopped me.

"S-Shh.. Don't speak, it only hurts you.." He said, and I nodded, hoping he would say more.

"I loved you, Icecloud. I loved you, but somehow.. Cinderheart spoke me out of it. She didn't want me to be with you, and somehow.. She felt like she needed me, she wanted me. And I fell in love with her.. You, Icecloud.. You were my first love. I will never, ever have one of those again. Don't die over me, I-I'm not worth it, Icecloud.."

I wondered silently if Foxleap had told him to say that, but he looked like he wasn't kidding. He had loved me?

I began to cough without speaking, almost like it didn't end, a sharp pain was in my chest, and I loved him so much I couldn't say anything.. All I could do was hear, and maybe see a little bit..

"Icecloud. Don't leave, please.." The panicked voice of him and another: Foxleap, my brother. They both were shouting.

"Icecloud, I love you.." I could tell that came from Lionblaze. I willed my eyes to open as I looked at him, and managed to choke out as my last words..

"If you love something, set it free."

And I now know that my life is no longer meaningless.

My life was meaningless without him, but with him, I could die in peace..

And within a moment, I was dead.

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><p><strong>Is it just me who LOVES this pairing? <strong>

**Third favorite pairing For the win. Check out my other stories, but on my main note: **

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